Review of December Movie Trailers

Prologue for December

Frozen

Disney magic is back and this time it’s cold as hell! When one of two slightly Asian looking chicks runs from her responsibilities to hide it is left to her sister to find and rescue her. And the world or something. With only the aid of a woodsman type character with excellent skin and a perfectly animated six pack, she must travel the land and talk to snowmen. Looks good. Looks Disney. I don’t think the snowman character is even pretending to be a black guy so that’s a plus one to reputation if you ask me!

Homefront

Jason Statham declares war on the Confederacy after they threaten his little girl. Enter James Franco as local crazy guy with tattoos to declare war on our protagonist. I’m sure Statham is ex Special Forces or something and will have access to large amounts of weapons and explosives. Which always make me wonder; if I was going into hiding would I like lots of guns or just one gun with lots of ammo? Does the extra weight of multiple weapons cancel out the time wasted in reloading? Anyway, it’s also got Winona Ryder and Biff from “Back to the Future”. Looks quite grim. Let’s hope they pull it off!

The Desolation of Smaug

It’s the movie sequel everyone is Tolkien about! Our Dwarven singing chorus are almost at their destination. But first they must fight loads of giant spiders (dam you Tolkien! Dam you to hell!!!) And meet up with Legolas and hot female elf No.2. But who am I kidding? You show me one ugly female elf and I will show you the way to Isengard. Anyhow, cut to lots of elves killing bad guys and dwarves in barrels. Gandalf get to explore an evil castle with Randagast the Brown and Benedict Cummerbund camps it up as Smug the dragon. This flying lizard is massive! Bilbo has a magic ring, but he really needs a Jaeger!

Anchorman 2

Get ready for some high octane moustachioed mayhem! I don’t think Will Ferrell can mess this up. Could anyone mess this up? After the success of the first film the formula is easy – just make the first movie again! Looks like that’s what they’ve done! I am officially going on record as saying this movie is a choke hazard. From the trailer alone it looks like all the old cast are back and are just as two dimensional. Which I love. “Guilty pleasure” and “unashamed” are surely going to be used to describe this movie. I don’t care. Bring on the fun bags!

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

Wasn’t this an old British comedy show? Anyhow, Ben Stiller is directing and starring as the title character. He zones out and lives in a fantasy world. Plot happens and forces him to go out into the real world and have some adventures. I think that’s about it. Like, literally. If Stiller is trying to reinvent himself, maybe “Mitty” is the movie to do it but so far I’m not convinced. Playing epic music during the trailer and showing sweeping panoramas feel like a smoke screen. But it could be good. I mean they wouldn’t splash money on promoting a bad film right? Right?

47 Ronin

A fantastic Japanese legend/true story gets the CGI treatment. When medieval Japan gets taken over by daemons and monsters only 46 unemployed soldiers can save the country. But first these Japanese warriors fighting for the future of Japan in a Japanese legend need one thing to succeed – a white man. Enter Keanu Reeves with a katana. But who am I kidding? This looks ace! Just the idea of Samurai fighting off the rejected CGI monsters from Lucasfilms is enough to get me excited. Banzai! And it’s got that hot chick from “Pacific Rim”! Bonsai! 

Which of these films will you be checking out this December?

There are other films release this December plus loads more in January. What are you looking forward to or wish I had covered here? Leave you message in the comments!